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2022 March Madness: Sweet 16

Who Won the Games?

Last Sunday, many readers likely suspected that, in spite of surprisingly early exits from Kentucky and Baylor, “the chalk” was beginning to find its footing in this year’s NCAA tournament. Then came Black Thursday. Overall number one Gonzaga fell to Arkansas to start the Sweet 16. Arizona, another favorite of bracket makers across the country, got beat by Houston just hours later.

Okay, that was crazy, but Friday was better right? Dead wrong. Our beloved Saint Peepees etched their names into the all-time Cinderella story history books as they knocked off Purdue and that weird-looking giant guy that I can’t remember the name of. Then, North Carolina toppled UCLA, sending our at-that-point-presumed-champion Conner Deck’s bracket into hell with the rest of us (see below).

Who Leads our Bracket?

Davis “the Mad Hatter” Hatmaker has leaped into first place in our pool with 560 points. Behind the Hatter, Dan Martin retains his consistent leaderboard status with 530 points. Behind Dan, Zon and Matt “Kiss Me I’m from Starkville” Hunt are tied for third with 510 points each.

Hatmaker deserves some praise for two key picks that helped deliver what was, all things considered, a great Sweet 16. First, he picked with his head, not his heart, and took Villanova to the Elite Eight instead of his Vols. Second, he predicted Houston’s improbable win over Arizona, which sent many brackets (including this editor’s) spinning.

Potpourri

In both of our pool-wide battles, the winning side has taken a resounding lead. The West now leads the East in the Battle of the Mississippi River by a score of 476.7 to 437.9. In the Battle of the Bourgeoisie and Proletariat, the private school graduates now lead the public school graduates 455 to 396.7.

With UCLA’s loss to North Carolina, we now entered a new point of embarrassment in our bracket pool. No member of the Porch Madness pool has correctly picked the national champion. Our own Jon Creel put this the best, saying plainly “we suck.”

Opinion: Arithmetic Sequential Scoring and Warren Buffett

It came to the editor’s attention during the Sweet 16 that our current system relies on geometric sequential scoring (each round is worth a total of 32 points). This publication strongly favors arithmetic sequential scoring (pick rd 1 = one point, pick rd 2 = two points, pick rd 3 = three points… championship pick = six points). Two arguments in favor of the arithmetic method:

1. It is undoubtedly more impressive to pick all four Final Four teams correctly than it is to pick the national champion correctly. The arithmetic method gives 16 points to a bracket with all Final Four teams correct and six points to a bracket with the national champion correct. Our current system considers these feats equal, both worth 32 points.

2. Our current system considers getting the national champion correct equal to getting all 32 first round games correct. Warren Buffet will pay any Berkshire Hathaway employee who gets all 32 first round games correct $1 million. His prize for picking the correct national champion: zilch. I don’t know Mr. Buffett, but from what I know about him, he tends to understand value when he sees it.

Editor’s Notes

n/a

To the Elite Eight We Ride,

Neece

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