Disclaimer: These are bold predictions. Do I think all of these will actually happen? Not really. But they are, as Dan Patrick says, “warm takes.” They’re what I’d tell you to bet on when I’m six beers deep Friday night headed to OCSB. We begin.
Creel will trade his entire draft night team away by the playoffs. He loves trades, he’s good at trades, and unlike some of us, his offers are actually reasonable.
Derivative fantasy gambling market will take off this year. This is a league that loves rivalries and has more than a few known gambling degenerates. I predict that Messrs Seward and Creel may actually make a book for the week of the Hunt Brothers’ Classic (see below)… or at least a line for that game.
The Hunt Brothers’ Classic will take off in beautiful fashion. It’s a rivalry that long predates the history of DNFG. And they’re quite possibly the league’s two biggest pissants. So wouldn’t it be great if they played for a trophy? I’m personally lobbying that when Matt Hunt plays JC Hunt, it should be the Hunt Brothers’ Classic, and the loser covers the winner’s first fifty bucks of losses at the shittiest Mississippi river casino we can find.
Dan Martin will draft and play four non-Bucs. Brady’s back, so there’s really no reason to believe Dan Martin won’t continue to be a “passive investor” so to speak. But who knows, maybe Dan’s getting bored. And there was that six-week Brady retirement period where he had to think about drafting other players.
Someone in Conner’s top three draft picks will have a devastating injury in week two. I’ve lived with Zon long enough to know he just isn’t lucky enough to get the first pick and have it end well for him. Plus he tells me he loves McCaffery.
Either Stephen or I will become this year’s “in my other league” guy. I hate admitting this about myself, but I’m so capable of it. And Stephen and I are in a ten-man Nashville league this year where one guy literally drafted Josh Allen with the fourth overall pick.
Sew will continue to cement his legacy as DNFG’s Buffalo Bills by losing another championship. Let’s face it Daniel, you can change the team name, but you can’t change fate. Not only will Sew be this year’s runner up, but I predict he will go full Jim Kelly Buffalo Bills and finish the 2023 season in second place, too.
I will permanently damage my relationship with my future in-laws over the course of this fantasy season. I’m in three leagues while planning a wedding, and I frankly don’t see the problem. But Ginna Tillman does. Researching Joe Mixon’s twinged right knee in week eight isn’t going to be a viable excuse for that woman when she asks why I missed the third appointment in a row with the florist.
The NFL will force feed us some generic “voting” commercial in early November. Apparently, the NBA will be taking election night off this year so we can all be free of distractions that keep us from “voting” (by voting, they mean voting blue). The NFL isn’t a partisan organization like the NBA, but they do have a moral compass that is completely guided by television ratings and “don’t sue us.” Count on a very generic “your voice matters” commercial hitting your airwaves the weekend before election day.
Andy Brock will be this year’s champion. The logical case for this is that Brock is a sports journalism professional up against “dumb money” in the fifteen of us. But beyond that, my hunch is that the fantasy gods will be kind to Andy for volunteering for last year’s Lemonade Sweepstakes in spite of an almost .500 record and a faulty ESPN losers’ bracket system.
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Bennett Neece
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